“…..After capturing animals, a cunning hunter does not put faith in them, for they might run away. Similarly, those who are advanced in spiritual life do not put faith in the mind. Indeed, they always remain vigilant and watch the mind’s action.” – Shrimad Bhagavatam (5.6.2)
Just as a lover feels unloved in a relationship, a devotee may feel unloved by Krishna while practising devotional service.
That’s because we have declared our loyalty to our mind.
I and my mind – whom I have named as ‘cancal’ – a Sanskrit word, feminine in notation that means restless- are like two bodies but one soul! You could even give a male gender to your mind – Dushasana is an apt name- the archetypal villain who attempted to disrobe Draupadi in the royal assembly. Your mind wants to rob you off your dignity and take you far away from Krishna.
The identity of the self is so intertwined with the mind that we align to our mind’s wish. It’s almost as if I have merged myself in my mind’s identity. I am one with cancal!
Her mood and desires dictate my life. I can’t seem to separate myself from her. I am totally lost in love with her. And she is happy to see I am a henpecked husband.
But is this a healthy affiliation? Relationship experts say that if you truly want to be respected by your lover, you need to prove to him/her that you are strong and independent, and can survive without him/her.
Many choke in their relationships when their lover is compulsively obsessive. Either the person leaves or suffocates in the relationship and becomes a victim of abuse.
My over dependence on my mind’s approval has only emboldened the giant, loud, and foul mouthed demon – mind. He relentlessly abuses me and no police station in this world would file my complaint. I now desperately need to get out of his vicious clutches and prove to myself that I can survive without him. Only then he’ll respect me. And I need my mind to cooperate with my desire to serve and come closer to Krishna.
A mother-child bonding is free of abuse, and is healthy when the baby totally depends on the mother. Similarly, if I merge my identity with Krishna- I lose myself in love with Krishna, then the mind won’t have a field day. I’ll be able to separate myself from cancal’s grasp and come closer to Krishna.
“Krishna is just like the Sun and maya is just like darkness. If the Sun is present, there is no question of darkness. Similarly, if Krishna is present in the mind, there is no possibility of the mind being agitated by maya’s influence. The yogic process of negating all material thoughts will not help. To try to create a vacuum in the mind is artificial. The vacuum will not remain. However, if one always thinks of Krishna and how to serve Krishna best, one’s mind will naturally be controlled.” – Srila Prabhupada
To be continued….