A young student asked me, “Why are students so disrespectful to themselves?”
The after effect of Valentine’s Day was evident on the college campus, with a litter of used condoms scattered all over.
It’s ironic for students to make decisions about balancing education or their love life, more precisely, their physical sexual life.
Recently, a 13-year-old residential student expressed his feelings about his affection for a girl. He’s unable to meet her regularly, leading to a lack of focus on his studies. He feels torn, expressing, “I am beaten on both directions,” conflicted between his ambition to grow and affection to be thrilled & feel bliss.
The Dharma Shastras of Sanatana Dharma unabashedly invite all to experience dharma, artha, and kama, unlike the conflicts found among those who claim to be educated, quoting Western philosophies such as the will to pleasure, the will to power, or the will to purpose. These elements are not opposed, rather complement each other.
Sri Rama in Ramayana and Narada Muni in Mahabharata asked the same question to Bharata and Yudhisthira respectively about timely duty, wealth generation and pleasure. It means, they do prescribe to enjoy along with Dharma and Artha.
Bharata Muni and Ayurvedic texts like Astanga Hridayam recommend the proper union of man and woman. Madhurya Rasa in Bharata Muni’s Natya Shastra is phenomenal and the highest in relationship science. But it’s refined, precise and appropriate, unlike the aftermath of Valentine’s Day, which is gross, binding, and self-deprecating to the extent that individuals are willing to be discarded by multiple partners one after other, whom they refer as “hooking up”. It’s literally like a dead animal hooked to a hanger in a butcher’s shop – consciously dead, intellectually lost, and physically exhausted.
Some spiritualists outrightly condemn children’s pursuit of relationships as useless and unnecessary, which can be quite unpalatable.
In reality, the proximity between boys and girls and open relationships are on the rise. It’s a reality, but reality also reveals truth. The truth is that such promiscuous behavior only leads to self-absorption and self-targeting. It sends a message that they are easily available to be taken advantage of and exploited in the name of Valentine’s Day, love and beyond.
Parents need to be aware that it’s not only having boy or girl friends but physical relationship have become so common. It’s a painful and scary reality, but acknowledging it allows parents to guide their children through the journey of life.
Secondly, the practice of celibacy as an adventure for some time needs to be discussed, not assumed by parents and teachers.
The school and college management can initiate discussions on these subjects. Students forming groups and taking on these challenges can promote sanity and foster the development of meaningful friendships instead of jumping into promiscuous relationships.
In conclusion, when Arjuna was studying in Swarga, he was facilitated by Indra himself to enjoy Urwasi. However, Arjuna remained uncompromising. Despite Urwasi begging him to enjoy her, Arjuna, as a student remained focused on his studies and his connection to the other Pandavas.
Our children, whether guys or girls have the potential of Arjuna to develop self restraint, respect relationships and eventually cultivate a healthy Madhurya Bhava.
𝙄𝙩’𝙨 𝙖 𝙉𝙚𝙬 𝙁𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙤𝙢 𝙈𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩.
𝙅𝙖𝙞 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙮𝙖 𝙍𝙖𝙨𝙖🙏
– Govinda Das
